20. AXO at UNF. Political Science/Criminal Justice/French. Bibliophile. Tree-hugger. Constant Contradictions. Hopeless romantic (with pessimistic influences).Questioning the universe Feedback
In my mind you were my confidante and best friend.
But were you really?
You were the only one I wanted to the point that the idea of anyone else made me want to scrub my skin raw.
But did it always?
You always made me laugh and knew what to say.
But did you really?
You were the one!
But now I don’t know.
Five years later and here we are. Well, here I am. Feeling as though my memory has betrayed me, failed me. My memories have left me with this idea of someone wonderful. The one who first broke down my walls. The first to really notice me and see me for who I really was. He was my everything and the person I shared everything with. Yes, in my mind he was the closest I’ve ever been with anyone. The best friend I’ve ever had.
And yet…if all those things are true then why are we here now? As if my mind has decided to tell the “nice story” as it romanticizes the past. A past undeserving of such thoughts, leaving me unsure of what to believe. Were you the one? Or was I just young? Were you really as wonderful as I remember? Or had I just created a better version of you to make sure no one could ever compare so I never gave anyone else a chance to hurt me the way you did?
Do you ever just look at someone and think to yourself “Finally, you’re here! Where have you been all this time?”
It’s okay, he was worth the wait.